Be Clear! Don't fall into this trapI recently read a LinkedIn press release. To preserve the integrity of this blog, and to avoid embarrassment, I shall change names and locations so that it remains anonymous:
Title: Bristol financial services firm in running for top regional award
First line: Financial services firm XYZ has reached the finals of prestigious financial services awards.
Comment from 'business development director': We pride ourselves on providing bespoke financial services...
Clear as mud... what do they do? I googled 'Financial Services'
Advert 1. Microsoft ERP financial software
Advert 2. An event run by a bank
Organic result 1. Wikipedia - explaining that it encompasses anything to do with money
Organic result 2. The FCA - probably the first relevant result...
News article 1. About Amazon Cloud Services and it's impact on their profitability
If you must know, they are independent financial advisors. I knew this already as I'm in that world... but most aren't. They help people get mortgages, advise on investments and pensions, and advise on related insurances. Wouldn't it be simpler if XYZ bespoke financial services just said that?
In fact, you have to scroll right the way down their page to see that. The browser title says 'Bespoke Financial Services'. Their logo says the same. And one page on their site says bespoke 4 times.
I'm always one for simplicity. Say what you do. Give three big options - button for mortgages, button for pensions, button for insurance. Secure the prospects details. And AVOID JARGON at all costs!